"And I know You don't come as easy as some but I will watch and pray..."

I kinda feel like I am just writing because it's been so long since my first post. As a result, I feel like I should not write...but I know I can't not write.

Right now I am completely confused. I am just in one of those seasons where everything I planned and banked on happening for my future is falling out. Even things that I have been building up to for years are wavering under the pressure of passion, desires, and unfortunately, reality. These days, a young, passionate Christian is so succeptable to the pressure to become a part of the workforce of America...it's all about finding where you fit to do a job and earn money. I became okay with that. In fact, in the last year I think I have let earthly, worldly reality take too much of a hold on me. I've become content to make money, have a family, and live life.

Then came God...and Dutch Sheets. A couple weeks ago I began to feel the fluttering of heavenly reality in my heart again. I know that the Lord has called me to live an extraordinary life...and to count for Him in ways that I can't imagine. I forgot that. I forgot the call of an Esther on my life. I forgot the prophetic words and the visions that He has been speaking to me about my future for years. The goal of the Awakening and Reformation Tour that came a couple weeks ago is to awaken and posture for reformation. I think I was awakened. Friday night we were singing and crying out to be "burning ones." I know my soul has grown so familiar with these precious terms and declarations, but that night I had to choose to declare it for real, even though I don't fully understand or realize what being His "burning one" means. But in that seemingly empty declaration came the life to my heart again. He lit me with purpose again...

So I found passion again...unfortunately fewer answers have come with that revelation than I would have liked. Since then, my plans to go into architecture are weakening. Literally since early high school I have been banking on it as my calling...I wrote twenty two pages on design for my senior thesis and I felt like it was right...until now. Left and right I'm seeing more and more reasons to find a new calling. Normally I would excuse them as the enemy distracting me or something...but I really do wonder. I feel like I have so many passions and callings, but none of them really fit into a career or a major in college. Part of me just wants to forget school and just invest in helping people, intercession, and worship. But the other part feels called to the marketplace and design as well. I'm just very confused...

But...I know that hidden in this desert season is a sound. This sound brings clarity. This sound clears confusion. This sound is my calling. I know that I'll know it when it comes, but for now I have to brave the blinding sandstorms and the endless, horizonless landscape around me. I have to choose to believe that He really does hear me, that He will work all things together, and that "no good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." I have to believe, despite how I feel, that He IS THAT good.

I am so glad that this is all about Him and Him incarnating Himself in me. I find so much peace in that.

In case I don't post till after the 25th, MERRY CHRISTMAS...may you all have joy and peace in the next few weeks :)

Hello anyone...everyone...

I know that so far, I am my only follower, but I have to start posting sometime. This is the blog of Courtney Jane Sones. I am 20 and a student at a community college by my house. I work at a fabulous restaurant with fabulous people. I am also the oldest of five amazing kids. My mom and dad are responsible in many ways for keeping me alive...both literally and figuratively...they are my lifeline and an example to me everyday of how Father loves me. I am a Christian (if you want to give a title). But everyday I find out that it is so much less about a title and a religion than a relationship. He has called all of us out of darkness into His marvelous light that we might KNOW Him...and the power of His resurrection.

I titled my blog "Unquenchable Wonder" because of words that two of my best friends gave me. A few months ago, when I was having a very hard time believing in anything, Abigail Suiter told me that He was naming me "unquenchable." Honestly, to this day I don't really feel like that's me...but He does keep calling me up higher and higher, closer and closer to Him. So really, He's the unquenchable one who does not give me the option to respond with anything but unquenchable fire. Another friend told me that the Lord sees me as a woman of wonders. She said that I am able to see Him in the small things and rejoice accordingly. This I can see. I find the most peace when I'm sitting watching a sunset. My heart leaps when the cherry trees begin to bloom and even on the most stormy days in my spirit, if the stars come out at night, I find peace. It's a strange thing to me. So many others are able to just pass by these marks of the Creator without even a second glance. I don't know what happened to me, but almost suddenly in March this last year I started to literally get (annoyingly) excited. I just can't help it...His creation stirs worship in me. It is His song and it is His face looking at me and singing to me every day.

So I can't say that every post will be about a sunset or the fall colors...but I hope that this aspect of who I am is imparted with every post.

I'm not a writer, but more and more I feel that I have something to say and it just can't be said on facebook or in 140 words on twitter...so pardon my lack of eloquence...hopefully this will help :)

Please comment too:) and have a great couple days