Maybe I should start blogging again...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

but tumblr is just so very convenient

Random thought of the day...

It seems that most of the time, doors that we want to open, we have to wait and let Him open. But sometimes I feel like I pile up chairs and ottomans and wardrobes and side tables on my side of the door in order to make Him prove He's powerful enough to open that door. I think I like to demand all sorts of signs from Him to convince me that I can believe Him. Like asking Him to perform a miracle so that He can do a miracle, while in the meantime He could've done the miracle. Fortunately, most of the time He just breathes and sweeps away all of my attempts to shut His power out. But what if, outside of some of the most important doors, He sits on the other side of just waiting me to really trust Him- to remove my tests and just let Him open the doors simply. What if that is all that's stopping the new seasons that He wants to bring???

I don't know...ha, just thoughts...

My amazing wonderful friend Abigail Suiter wrote this for me for my birthday last year. Abby has been one of my most faithful friends and she inspires me everyday to live out loud, to dream, to believe, and to love unreservedly. I love you my amazer :)

Unquenchable saw a blue feather blow by

Her window as she looked out one night

For some reason it made her feel more alive

And rising she chased it outside

She ran after is wherever it went

Til it disappeared in the dark

But she felt if she kept on, she'd see it again

So she followed the light of her spark

She looked at the stars, wondering as they fell

Leaving white streaks in the sky

If skies could talk, what kind of stories they'd tell

Of the stars in the past that had dies

And she wondered why so many wishes come true

Why in awe of the beauty we gasp

When a light holding onto its dark home for years

Shoots across the sky, burning its last

Her thoughts interrupted as she came to a sea

And she slowly stepped onto a dock

So new yet so familiar this place seemed

As if some door to her wishes unlocked

Then through the mist of the darkness ahead

She spotted a tiny sailboat

She squinted to see what the side of it said

Surprised, she read, Unquenchable Hope,

She felt as if it beckoned her come aboard

So boldly she stepped inside

Trembling with emotion, bid goodbye to the shore

And cut the rope that was to the dock tied

Sometimes it felt she'd been in that boat for years

For always continued the night

But soon she was lost and couldn't stop the tears

As she forgot what the sun had looked like

When suddenly a storm blackened her world

Extinguishing even the stars

Wind filled the sail and waves tossed the girl

As she wished she'd not come out so far

She hid in the corner unsure what to do

The storm tearing the boat apart

And the flame within her started flickering too

As great fear crept into her heart

Then all at once she was thrown from the boat

And into the sea's cold embrace

She tried desperately to keep herself afloat

As the water crashed over her face

The storm was too strong for her, pulling her down

Away from the freedom of air

And quickly unquenchable started to drown

And her fighting turned into despair

Her lungs filled with water, strength wearing thin

Flame nearly extinguished with doubt

She felt arms around her and knew it was Him

He wouldn't let her fire go out

She was pulled to the surface, then onto a shore

And sputtering, found air once again

She focused, she had never been here before

Eyes gripped her, a whisper...Him

"Unquenchable, hope didn't die with the storm

And the dark hasn't put out your flame

Instead, it will be deeper than it was before

And brighter than it's ever been

I'll always be with you..." and then He was gone

And stilled in the silence she lay

No longer alone though, and she sensed all along

He'd kept her alive all this way

She was tired and battered from fighting the waves

And she lay there a while to ponder

And the thought of His voice and she thought of the days

When she was so much freer to wander

When she had gained courage, she stood to her feet

And then turned away from the sea

And as she did, something majestic and sweet

Appeared where the clouds used to be

The sky streaked orange and then yellow and pink

The beginnings of a new dawn

She wasn't sure yet what to feel or think

But something kept her going on

She came to a gate, and her heart skipped a beat

As she glimpsed what was on the other side

The feather, bright blue, lay just beyond reach

She felt if she could touch it, she'd fly

She pulled at the latch, trying to open the gate

And realized it was to no avail

This gate wasn't made to open her away

No matter what she tried, she would fail

When a sweet gentle breeze took the feather away

Unquenchable felt her heart shatter

She'd wanted it where she could see it to stay

To make it feel like the pain inside mattered

Just then the sky broke in a beautiful blue

The sun chasing away the cold

And with it Unquenchable's courage renewed

Her dreams once again growing bold

The light above her painted hope in the sky

Filling her with silent awe

And for the first time the tears filling her eyes

Clarified all that she saw

She thought of the stars and understood why

It's a beautiful thing when they fall

For it's as they let go they become the most bright

It's then that they give hope to us all

It's just like my boat that I had to let sink

And I thought in that moment, hope died

But now that I'm seeing it, I really think

That made room for some real hope inside

And maybe someday that sweet wind will return

That feather right back to this gate

But I think for right now I'm just going to learn

How to hear Him, to see Him, and wait

And she settled herself with her gaze on the sky

Drinking in all the hope in the light

And she finally believed that the good only dies

To make room for the best to have life

May is here...

I don't know whether to be excited or afraid. Hopeful or cautious.

Summer is a month away and honestly besides the sun coming and my birthday...I don't want it to come.

I'm afraid.

"It's gonna be full of Me..."

Ok Jesus...I believe you...

I listened to this song probably hundreds of times in MC...and now it's back and wrecking me

Storm by Lifehouse

How long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything would be alright
if I'd see you
this darkness would turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

if I could just see you
everything would be alright
if I'd see you
this darkness would turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright

and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything's alright

"'FEARLESS' is not the absense of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want all over again... even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for the things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them. It's FEARLESS to say "you're NOT sorry," and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourselfto cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright, that's FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS." - Taylor Swift

yep...i pretty much agree

I'm tired of being afraid